Biohell Read online

  This was an invasion.

  ~ * ~

  Patient Information Leaflet

  BIOMOD CAPSULES 0.2 mg

  ©NanoTek Corporation

  KEEP ALL BIOMODS OUT OF THE

  REACH OF CHILDREN.

  REMEMBER: Only a doctor or Biomod

  Sales Representative can prescribe this

  biomod medicine/ human/alien upgrade. It

  should never be given to anyone except the

  person it has been prescribed for. It may

  harm them in a grotesque and horrific way.

  BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR BIOMOD

  PLEASE READ THIS LEAFLET

  CAREFULLY. This leaflet contains a brief

  summary about your biomod capsules 0.2

  mg. For full details please visit

  www.NanoTek.com/biomod

  YOUR BIOMOD

  Your biomod comes in the form of a capsule (although they can also be obtained in liquid suspension for oral or intravenous absorption, or in an anal application pack*). Each capsule contains 0.2 mg (including carrier) of the active ingredient Trilidium ReXexate. Each capsule also contains lactose monosodrate, ionising organo-starch and magnesium bio-stearate.

  The capsule is made from gelatine and contains the colours Erythrosin (E127), Indigo Carmine (E132), Titanium Dioxide (E171) and Iron Oxide (E172). Biomod capsules are available in blister packs of 1 and 3 capsules dependant on genetic modifiers, and come with an external controlling console made from recycled hardcore plastic, called a Controller Pad. When you have completed your biomod (or the expiry date has been reached), please dispose of the console in the NanoTek Recycle Bins which can be found in most high-street shops and supermarkets Quad-Wide.

  HOW DOES YOUR BIOMOD WORK?

  Your biomod is a measurement of Nano Robots, called “nanobots”, or Biological Modules, “bio-mods” which enter an organism and are controlled by a small programmable console. Most biomods are SF Grade—Specific Functional. For example, SF Grade FR biomods (fat reducer) are used specifically in the loss of weight for the patient, or an SF Grade PE biomod (penis enlarger) is used to increase the size of a patient’s garbage. More expensive are the biomod WildMods—which are capable of multi-functional activity within any human or alien organism. For example, a WM Grade AC biomod (anti-cancer) can be used to kill cancer cells in all forms and operate within a system for a specified time period (usually on contract, and paid for by filling in the monthly direct debit mandate enclosed with this information pack) and will protect against further developments of cancer. The WM Grade VP biomod (vanity pack) can be used to change hair colour, reduce (or increase) fat content, increase or reduce sizes of body parts (including breasts, although this can be purchased as an SF upgrade single application ‘tit pack’), improve skin tone, change skin colour, increase lip size, lengthen finger, nails, etc, etc.

  The biomod robots operate at a molecular level and have two basic states called binaries. The biomods fall into the category of a create binary, or a destroy binary. To lose weight, destruction biomods are used. The same as those which kill cancer. Growth packs (for example, for body-builders) use create binaries to increase muscle mass. But relax! Most biomod tablets and injections have a balance of binaries to cover for every eventuality.

  Biomod robots operate within the framework of a patient’s DNA, so don’t worry about your body rejecting things—in the old days an implanted organ could fail due to a body’s own defence mechanisms. With biomods, the biomods themselves simply build a new liver, kidney, heart valve, etc adhering to an organic system’s intrinsic DNA structure. Your body won’t even know the difference! And once they’re finished? Don’t worry! Unless you have a time contract, the biomods will be easily and harmlessly flushed from your system with other natural waste. No fuss, no mess! And they’re 100% bio-degradable, so they won’t pollute the environment!!!

  WHAT SHOULD YOU DO BEFORE TAKING

  YOUR BIOMOD?

  You must tell your doctor or Biomod Sales Representative before taking your biomod, if:

  • you have taken biomods before and suffered any unpleasant side effects

  • you have taken biomods before and suffered really nasty and/or fatal side effects

  • you are pregnant, intend to become pregnant, are gestating externally, or have inhabited another organism in the mode of parasitic invasion

  • you are breast feeding [excludes GG5 spindlers with rotating mammaries]

  • biomods have been prescribed to a child or hatched offling younger than 13 years of age

  • you know you suffer from liver, kidney, heart, mental, or any internal or external problems not endemic to your race.

  HOW SHOULD YOU TAKE

  YOUR BIOMOD?

  Swallow your capsules whole. Do not chew. Take your capsules as directed. You can take them with water, alcohol and most common A Class and H7 Class drugs. Anal applicants should follow the anal application pack [form ANA1].

  CAN YOUR BIOMOD HAVE ANY

  SIDE EFFECTS?

  Very extremely occasionally and very extremely rarely, occasional rare side effects may possibly might be experienced whilst taking biomod upgrades. The side effects are:—stomach pain and cramps and skin reactions (such as itching, discolouration, peeling and the emission of curious bad smells), feeling or being sick (including the vomiting of blood and pus and internal organs), drowsiness, increases in urinary uric acid, dizziness and dry mouth (including the swelling of the tongue sometimes creating an incurable blockage of the airways). Swelling of the stomach, gout, constipation and paralysis of the stomach have rarely occurred, as have allergic reactions including swelling of the skin or severe skin rash, swelling of the joints and sexual organs, anaemia and other blood disorders, inflammation of the pancreas, liver, heart or kidney, other liver and kidney disorders, hair loss, muscle loss and muscle pain, convulsions, psoriasis, porphyria, vertigo, allergic reactions and fever, peripheral neuropathy, psychotic episodes, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorders and schizophrenia, visual disturbances including blindness, blocking of the arteries, myocardial infarction, liver and kidney failure, leukaemia, blood clotting disorders leading to possible bleeding from orifices such as eyes, ears, mouth and anus, brain haemorrhage, bone-marrow depression, hepatitis, HIV, all your skin peeling off, and the random snapping of bones. Consistent use may lead to brain tumours and various cancers including cancer of the breast, prostate gland, throat, lungs, skin, liver, pancreas and kidneys. Sometimes, instant death may instantly occur.

  If you should suffer from any of these unwanted side effects or any undesired effect, then please tell your pharmacist, doctor or Biomod Sales Representative.

  BUT... HEY!

  DON’T WORRY!

  If you DO suffer a side-effect we’ll simply

  prescribe another biomod FREE OF

  CHARGE to counter the undesired effects!

  You’ll always be a winner! You can never

  lose out in the genetic race for molecular

  improvement!!!

  SO RELAX.

  SIT BACK.

  YOU JUST CAN’T LOSE!

  BIOMODS

  THE WAY TO A HEALTHY FUTURE.

  ©NanoTek Corporation.

  Please note that at point of distribution you signed a legal disclaimer holding NanoTek Corporation (and all of its contained subsidiaries, chemical plants, laboratories and associated companies, including marketing and advertising divisions) non liable to prosecution or legal action of any kind. This deletion of responsibility on the part of NanoTek does indeed affect your statutory rights.

  Product License Holder and Manufacturer: NanoTek Corporation (Sinax Cluster, KILL Subsidiary: [New York Clusters, San Francisco World, New Tek London, Paris EH, Old Athens, The Stockholm-Moscow Consortium, POSH Town, Cairo, The Sydney Pipe, Cape Town Smash, Bombay, Shaghai, The Dregs, Down-side, Low-Tek, Sub-City, SubC, Sub-City Catacombs, NewLon, CoreCentral, DOG Town, Black Rose Citadel]

/>   Manufactured by: NanoTek (KILL Subsidiary) Pharmaceuticals Ltd, D1RT1260 Vanlose, Black Rose Citadel HQ.

  * * *

  *The anal application pack contains the newly patented Anal Viewing Console™ whereby the biomod contains a microscopic camera linked to your TV set so that all the family can gather round and enjoy the experience of seeing an anal biomod in anal operation! It’s great family fun, and the recommended comedy application method for any biomod upgrade according to Renwells, Steiner and Steiner MD Ltd.

  ~ * ~

  PART I

  BIOCURSE

  “Let us beware of saying that death

  is the opposite of life.

  The living being is only a species of

  the dead.”

  Nietzsche.

  ~ * ~

  CHAPTER 1

  TRUE ROMANCE

  Franco Haggis was in love.

  Love. Such a small word. A simple concept. Yet it happened so fast he didn’t see it coming. It decked him like a right-hook, a well-aimed brick. Dropped him useless and gasping to the titanium-tox soil. Stomped on his head with bully-boy size 12 electrified boots. Ripped out his spine and beat him with the wriggling CPU end.

  Love left Franco gasping and begging for mercy. But love has no mercy. Like God, love’s victims are chosen indiscriminately. Without fanfare. A bolt from the blue.

  Never happen to me, Franco always said. Well, it bloody had. He was smitten. She was called Melanie. Mel. She was a babe. A chickpea. A peach.

  It all started, as these thing do, with Franco Haggis, Combat K squaddie (retired), rampant horny womaniser (active), voluminous quaffer of beer (guilty, m’lud) in the pub. The pub was, as SEC16 pubs went, a nice one. A good one. A clean one. A cool joint. A place to hang. A place to chill. It was one of the few SEC 16 bars from which Franco had not yet been banned and ejaculated—such was his infamy: scarred knuckles and a tendency to launch furniture whilst singing about goats. Franco had a reputation. No, he had a reputation.

  On this evening, however, Franco was having a quiet drink after a hard week at work. A quiet drink, for Franco, constituted ten or twenty pints, with a Vindaloo encore. A hard week at work constituted carrying out unsavoury acts—indirectly—for a certain Mr Voloshko, head honcho of a City-wide gangsta outfit named The Hammer Syndicate—one of the seven ruling Syndicates on the planet.

  Now, The City was a planet. And the planet was a city. A big one. A synthetic mish-mash jungle of stone, concrete, alloy, a cacophony of contrasting architectural styles from every human, alien and basic organic life-form Quad-Gal side. The City had once been a planet; and the city had consumed the planet. Not an inch of the world in its whole had not been terraformed.

  The City was the epicentre of wealth in the Quad-Gal. Nowhere could come close to the economic and private military might of The City. With a population of 112 trillion there was nothing that could not be bought, sold or exchanged, a situation perpetuated by the fact there were no regulations. The City had no written rules, laws or taxation on immigration, trade, import or export.

  The City was mad and bad, trick and slick, hunter and hunted, killer and victim, a world of contrasts, a planet of anarchy, and Franco loved it with a raw energy and the embracing punk-gusto of all true slightly deranged nihilists.

  Franco rested his elbows on the bar. The barman, a dude called Jed, waddled towards him with a pint of Greene King. “Ahh,” said Franco, accepting this proffered gift. “Luvverly jubberly.” He drank. A cream white moustache ingratiated itself with his short ginger goatee beard. “Ahh. Ahhhhbhbhhh.”

  “Not working tonight, Franco?” asked the ever-amiable Jed. He proceeded to polish a glass with a brown-stained beer-rag, not so much cleaning the vessel as spreading grease.

  Franco peered over his beer. Shook his head. “No. The Boss is out of town. On a job. A mission. Worth a lot of cash, or so I believe.” He grinned, showing a gap where one front tooth had been knocked clean free. Six pints had loosened Franco’s tongue. This was probably not a good thing, considering Voloshko—Head of The Hammer Syndicate—was probably the most feared and revered gangster leader of all the ‘families’ in The City. His current frag rate numbered in the thousands. You did not dick with Voloshko.

  Franco, however, was mad.

  Admittedly, it was a sporadic and random madness, controlled by a cocktail of drugs, therapy, therapeutic drugs, beer and sex and chips and gravy; it was the sort of madness which could take him in its wings for long periods; or, conversely, leave him be—sane, or a close approximation thereof—for years. In his past life, Franco had admittedly been locked away at The Mount Pleasant Hilltop Institution, the “nice and caring and friendly home for the mentally challenged” under the watchful supervision of a certain Dr Betezh... but that had been a long time ago. It was a different story entirely.

  Franco scratched his shaved head. “Business slow?”

  “Aye,” nodded Jed. “I think people are saving their cash for TQC. It’s always the same vibe this time of year. We’ve only two weeks to go until the celebrations begin!”

  “The Quantum Carnival,” mused Franco, scratching his beard. “God, is it that time already? I should get me a proper calendar.”

  “An expensive time of year,” nodded Jed, deep in thought.

  “Aye. I usually do three months’ wages.”

  “I know,” said Jed. “You spend most of it in here.”

  “Well, I know you appreciate loyal customers.”

  “Just as long as you don’t do what you did last year.”

  “What was that?” Franco frowned.

  “You started a brawl.”

  “I did?”

  “With seven drunk Justice SIMs.”

  “Ahhh. That brawl.”

  “Franco, a human can’t take on one Justice SIM, never mind seven!”

  “I was only fuckin’ wit’ them.”

  “They have no sense of humour, Franco.”

  “Yeah, I seem to recollect.”

  “Pure smashed the place up, they did.”

  “I remember!”

  “You should, mate. They used your head.”

  The Quantum Carnival was a straight seven day run of parties and street-celebrations, fireworks and dancing and opulence, where nobody worked and the entire planet shut down for an annual orgiastic cacophony of pleasure and pain and fun and depravity. Everybody enjoyed TQC. Everybody joined in. After all, it would be rude not to.

  Franco took another quarter-pint sip of Greene King, and realised his glass was empty. Jed poured him another.

  “Hey up, look what the dog’s dragged in.”

  Franco slow-spun on his bar stool, only half interested—he was in the mood for a serious drinking session, and it took a lot to distract him from that. However, the vision that met him quite literally poleaxed him. His jaw dropped. It actually dropped.

  “Wow,” he said.

  Jed leant forward over the bar. He grinned, as he hissed, “Out of your league, buddy. By a billion parsecs.”

  Franco nodded aimlessly. Jed was right.

  She was beautiful. Stunning. Perfection. A creature of gorgeousness carved from a block of gorgeousness. Petite and modest in stance, yet subtly athletic, Franco watched with a hint of escaped drool as she closed the door behind her, a precise movement, and her gaze swept the bar. She had green eyes, he saw that immediately. Long black hair. A beautifully deep brown complexion. And the most incredibly well-shaped and well-formed perfectly perfected bosom Franco had ever laid eyes upon. And he’d laid eyes on a few. After all, as Franco always said, nothing’s nice as tits.

  She walked across the room.

  Franco’s eyes followed her, beer glass touching his lips but no beer entering his mouth. It was too full of saliva. Brimming, to a point of embarrassing overflow.

  And then, the incredible happened.

  The woman, the vision of loveliness, the human goddess, altered her course of direction, moved economically to the bar, and hopped up
on a stool beside Franco. Franco eyed her smart carbonised bamboo suit and even smarter briefcase. He smiled gormlessly, uneasy, as ever around women he wasn’t paying for.

  “Hello,” said the beauty.

  Franco nearly dropped his beer. “Hullo,” he managed, then turned and fidgeted with a beer mat. Shit screamed his brain. She’s here, she came over and moved to the bar and sat next to me and said bloody hello to me so now so listen be calm boy-o you’ve got to act calm and not mess this up and just be real cool and show you’re just not some low-down space-bum dirty no-good burned out ex-squaddie with a love of robot prostitutes and horseradish... show her you’re a cool and gathered and hip and sophisticated kind of motherfucker dude. Right dude?

  “Right dude,” said Franco, unintentionally aloud. His jaw flapped like a guppy fish at feeding time.